


[Podfic] That is Not a Cow

by wtfrenchtoast



Series: [Podfic] Dishonor [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AlternaBucky does not consider himself AlternaBucky fuck you, Avengers AU, BAMF Bucky Barnes, Duct Tape, Evil Bucky Barnes, Evil Clint Barton, Evil Steve Rogers, I guess? idfk, I swear to God this is not crack, M/M, Podfic, Real people, Time travel trope, World War II, a Henley that is relevant to the plot, a bucky's job in every universe is to save a steve from his own mind, abusing alliteration, abusing our favorite characters, abusing the tagging system?, abusing tropes again lbr, alternate dimension trope, double the bartons double the bruises, duct tape being used on real people, god help me, good guy Brock Rumlow, listen pal, literally getting the shaft, maintaining friendships can be murder, modern Bucky Barnes is a salty cupcake but AlternaBucky is scary af, multiverse trope, no zombies were created in the harming of this story, shattering the fourth wall....literally, the avengers need adult supervision, thiiis is not the history you are looking for, this town ain't big enough for the both of us pal, tony stark in physical pain over not saying buckaroo out loud, unless you're in a universe where the bucky is evil then you're fucked stevie haha, unsanctioned using of their words to avoid angst, you don't say the Z word in a story about zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-01-05 12:03:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18365621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfrenchtoast/pseuds/wtfrenchtoast
Summary: Steve crouched down again, slowly, so he was on the same level as Bucky. “You remember me?” he asked desperately.Bucky looked down at the portal remote Steve still held, then narrowed his eyes when he met Steve’s. “You let some yahoo experiment on you again, didn’t you? Some mad scientist said, ‘hold my beer,’ and you pushed the button, right?”Podfic of the sequel to mandarou's Dishonor on Your Cow





	1. Hold My Beer

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [That Is Not A Cow](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869495) by [mandarou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandarou/pseuds/mandarou). 



> This is a podfic of the second installment in the Dishonor series by mandarou. If you haven't read Part 1, Dishonor on Your Cow, or listened to my podfic of it, IT'S AMAZING AND YOU WILL LOVE IT AAAHHHH
> 
> Also, read/listen to that first, because none of this will make sense without it. muahahaha
> 
> ENJOY!

Download mp3 (53:34) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/17AYm3Z3Ouo72IN4FvjJVLdhxNz1i6X3K/view?usp=sharing)


	2. Yay, Knock-off Nazi Serum

Download mp3 (38:19) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/12XuCpNS_1q8Sf38ciHlex4JqJvUg81Eu/view?usp=sharing)


	3. User Error

Download mp3 (31:50) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vBx40X89Dnbl4SUJhzkOjhSew_mFB0Kr/view?usp=sharing)


	4. Close Your Eyes and Think of England

Download mp3 (33:37) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Qlki3o4PHbjBxAVzMXCc-4ot4NDdn07t/view?usp=sharing)


	5. Lucky Strike

Download mp3 (31:23) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/14dRJzjvmZ4emquYGBvF42eMHnWuke_kr/view?usp=sharing)


	6. Tell Me a Story, Mr. Barnstaple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon my tone-deafness - Vintage Bucky can carry a tune, but I, mere mortal, cannot sing my way out of a paper bag.

Download mp3 (42:07) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=15DzkkdV5cDSEb405YHyjRYPjxL3kTEIo)


	7. Pull the Lever

Download mp3 (32:36) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1xk7jUuZgX8kHKdGjRt2O77Tc6xCnDrKY)


	8. I'm the Nightmare They Made Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this one was a doozy...

Download mp3 (1:31:25) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1MbGdqxl3GFbJ55AJ_onYK44QAJdmvbhM)


	9. The Fourth Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO READ. ENJOY!

Download mp3 (56:32) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1xhB9p6vKM_kzx_ys_a0XqUrcjCdEDOfT)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, because trying to convert emoticons to audio is an art, not a science, in case you had no idea what the f I was trying to do here:  
> angry sounds = >:(  
> love sounds = <3  
> dramatic ominous sound = emoticon holding machine guns (because it wouldn't copy and paste aaahh)


	10. This Might Take More Duct Tape

Download mp3 (39:31) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1kgIXDNPBM8CBRxpK6MaXduivIklCSCl6)


	11. Quest Structure

Download mp3 (1:01:16) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1vIL1iLJ3Xd1LiOXJlP-tALvlPYmXfZev) 


	12. The Z Word

Download mp3 (33:35) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uscHDputkvwRg-xW4jpmgv37fINfLv5E/view?usp=drivesdk)


	13. I'm Real Sorry About This

Download mp3 (52:45) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1NwgbMP4hcyxhnrhM7KK09Z0B9c2DlXM4)


	14. Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal

Download mp3 (41:29) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KcnaTJ_ZV3Gb7iSJOkt9zDnllhtGdOS-/view?usp=drivesdk)


	15. Shittiest Vacation Ever

Download mp3 (30:48) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=10L-ccYUEwnSNGU6fzG19GTobWiREf-WS)


	16. That Doesn't Sound Like Us

Download mp3 (35:21) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1VGOgWBTDiiQvIFe98mMyGp2zRdeTdKne)


	17. Just Saying Hello

Download mp3 (50:21) [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1srgkRcbEbS9R4hz3IccKd6wkZ8ZVDliX/view?usp=drivesdk)


	18. Do I Look Lost to You?

Download mp3 (49:52) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1GCrO1cQYYB-rLCYKUDCHtQrPviPF-G9l)


	19. Hell and Half of Georgia

Download mp3 (1:08:39) [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1qkK083ntvKR2SCSTObqGClcXQKlC_0PK)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT, FOLKS! 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me through the second part of this absolute treat of an adventure - I'm so flattered by all of the kind comments and encouragement!
> 
> I'm marking this as complete even though the original story is not technically so, because it covers all of the chapters in the original. The last chapter will be a tracklist of the music (listen at your own risk, it's like a buffet of the Andrews Sisters, Toby Keith and Lady Gaga and may or may not give you a migraine muahaha).
> 
> THANK YOU, everyone!


	20. Epilogue: Soundtrack

Tracklisting for the music used in the chapter intros and outros - kudos to anyone who knows why Chapter 9 used Take on Me ;)

  1. It's the End of the World as We Know It - REM
  2. Timebomb - Walk the Moon
  3. Alone Together - Fall Out Boy
  4. It's Been a Long, Long Time - Henry James
  5. Comin' in on a Wing and a Prayer - Four Vagabonds
  6. Goodbye Dear, I'll Be Back in a Year - Horace Heidt & His Musical Knights with Ronnie Kemper & Donna Wood
  7. Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree (With Anyone Else But Me) - The Andrews Sisters
  8. Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Lorde
  9. Take on Me - a-ha
  10. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
  11. Bad Blood - Taylor Swift, Kendrick Lamar
  12. House of the Rising Sun - The Animals
  13. POWER - Kanye West
  14. Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
  15. Good Lord Willing - Little Big Town
  16. Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big & Rich
  17. Should've Been a Cowboy - Toby Keith
  18. Desperado - The Eagles
  19. Young Blood - The Naked and Famous



Thanks again, guys, for listening and I hope you all enjoyed this!


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